On love and healing

Last night I asked Rudy my standard, “What do you think of love?” He said love isn’t easy, but that everyone should experience love. We were sitting in the living room, in an intimate discussion of love, relationships, and my Bajan crushes. I actually had just come home around 930pm from a very full and exciting yet exhausting day of shopping in town and bussing around with Ro.

When Rudy asked me what my ex was like, he said I only have to go there if I felt comfortable. The other night was my first time in Barbados that I released the vowels and consonants that make up my ex’s name. I noticed my spirit and body tense up a bit and I lost words when speaking of him to Rudy. But on this past night my thoughts were clearer as I had time to go there so to speak. Lately I’ve been coming to a firm belief that I no longer need him to be physically in my life to heal. Last night, I told Rudy that there was a time earlier in the breakup period when I didn’t know any better than to believe that he could be in my life as I healed. My time and personal hurt proved different. I’m glad Rudy asked me that question. This is not to say that I will never have a lover or ex lover who heals after we part, but it is to say that my most recent will not be that special one who heals me in a physical sense.

Thank you, Rudy, for babbling with me ‘bout love.